Why I haven't Dated In the last 9 years
Hey friends & fam. So not necessarily anything photo-related but instead a more contemporary topic. In the last year, and in the midst of today's pandemic we're in, I've started opening up more regarding my walk in singlehood. If you know or have met me, you should know that my response is usually reserved and neutral when it comes to being asked if I have a boyfriend, have someone I'm talking to, etc. And if you try to pound on me on why I don't have a boyfriend or try to go out and "find a man", I'll just ignore you and, dismissively, tell you off. Or just flat out reject you. Depending on my mood obviously. My personal life is my business and no one else. If I share you news, or you see me through my social medias, of a special someone, then you'll know it's real and not fake because it is of high importance to me. It's my life bitches, I do what I want.
As a 29 year old young woman, almost hitting 30 come this November, it's time for me to reflect. Singlehood. What a contemporary topic. From the start of grade school, we were taught that after high school or in college, you have to be on a set timeline of getting a job, starting your career, get married, have kids, etc. But no one talks about the reality, obstacles, and pressures when it comes to looking for a job, the ups-and-downs of navigating your career, finding the right type of mate, struggling with infertility, etc. It's either you have to be this or that or when you get to college, you're gonna immediately find the one and marry that person immediately, etc. I honestly thought that I was gonna find someone during my college years but in reality, it didn't happen. And that's ok. Everyone's paths are different.
Now as a wedding photographer and travelpreneur, I'm more than just someone that captures or experiences genuine love; I'm about being open and caring when it comes to important issues of today. I've been building my faith in God, and in general, greatly throughout my business as well as in the last five to nine years and waiting for the one to pursue me. May sound cheesy but it's the truth. I'm all about putting others and God first in everything and doing the best I can to the best of my ability. If it works out, great, and if it doesn't, no hard feelings.
To all the single, married, engaged, and actively looking friends out there, my best advice that I can give to you would be to date with intention, not retention. MEN: BE intentional with your women. LADIES: SET boundaries and DON'T be afraid to say no. If you are not feeling right in a situation or with someone, TRUST YOUR GUT. DON'T GHOST. Most importantly, don't be a jerkface.
Finding a mate is not an easy process. Some people get lucky when they meet their middle/high school or college sweetheart while others take years and lots of trial-and-error to find that special someone they want to devote their whole life to. If you find it through a dating app or online site, great! If not, no worries. Personally, I'm old school when it comes to meeting people the old fashioned way. Such as the bars ;)
Regardless of what happens or what you do, be intentional always.
Thanks for reading friends, Tune in Next Time.